Nobody knows the troubles I’ve seen, nobody knows my sorrow. Those are the words of a famous song.
“Cartoon-Sept. 2020” But they also reflect and highlight the feelings of many males in our society. Yes, men are sensitive and do feel deeply.
A few weeks ago I met a friend who I hadn’t seen in a while. It was then that I recalled that his wife had passed away a few months ago and he was naturally still feeling the pain of the loss. What moved me even more was when he told me something that I never knew, that his first wife had also passed many years ago.
He continued to say that for his entire life, every step he made, he would be pushed two steps backwards. At that point tears welled up in his eyes, brimmed over and rolled down his cheeks.
For some strange reason, many people do not believe that men have deep feelings too, especially sensitivity, and expect them to just shrug off misfortune and sorrow with a stiff upper lip and bravado like Samson.
“Come on man, get over it, don’t let it get you down, man up.”
So men suck it up, mask their feelings, do not show the world their inner self.
WEAKNESS
Surprisingly, it is mostly women who think that men do not feel, and if they do happen to encounter a man who is, heaven forbid, sensitive, they may consider him weak. Maybe that’s why some men hit women, just to prove that they are real men, big, tough and strong.
Many mothers also instill this, even to their sons. Well, truthfully many fathers do it too.
“Boys don’t cry, boys don’t show weakness, boys must be strong.”
“Stop the damn bawling like a sissy.”
Being strong does not mean an absence of compassion or sensitivity. Hardened soldiers, policemen or firemen will still cry over a tragedy.
Even so, a man is not supposed to show any weakness under normal circumstances. There are men who have lost their women to other men, or perhaps she just simply left for greener pastures for reasons unknown to him. As a man, he’s not supposed to show any weakness and pine after her, bawling his eyes out.
“The best cure for a lost love, is to find a new love.”
MISERY
But sadly and realistically, all men cannot live up to that mantra and handle the situation with dignity, aplomb and bravado. Many of them really take it hard, as they feel deeply, so allow those to wallow in their misery and pain until they get over it.
Needless to say, it’s never good to see a grown man sniveling and whining over a woman who left him.
“Get a grip man, show some testicular fortitude, find another woman.”
When a man gets cheated on, cuckolded, it’s possibly one of the worst pains that he could encounter. Combine that with the shame, plus ridicule, embarrassment and snide remarks from his male friends, and you have a man who suffers.
SYMPATHY
Women who are cheated on get sympathy from their friends and relatives though.
“Never mind dear, he is a worthless man who doesn’t deserve you.” But men who had their wives run off with another man, are often met with derision and contempt from other men.
Do they know that men are sensitive too? Do they care? Or is it merely a defense mechanism? Or perhaps they think that if it was them they would handle the situation better?!
Society can be cruel, cold, callous towards men who have empathy, men who are sensitive, men with compassion.
So even though men are sensitive and feel deeply too, they certainly dare not show it.
